I’ll level with you guys, I don’t have a huge amount of stories from just Game Stop, I worked at many other retail/food service/construction/janitorial/teaching positions in my tenure in the workforce, so I will pull stories from all of those experiences to fill what is going to be a weekly segment in this “blogadoodle” (patent pending)
Tale Number #1
The Bucket of Soap
Now, many of you out there have had experience with the substance know as soap, in this case specfically, laundry detergent.
Its a fine substance, makes my unmentionables all clean and soft ya know. But all of you who may have come into direct contact with the stuff, know that it is a very difficult thing to clean off yourself, or say the floor if you spill it.
Let’s back up a bit for a moment. When i was a senior in high school, the summer before I went to university I had a job at the local big box store. We’ll call it by its less hilarious name, Berkley&Jensen’s Wholesale Membership Club. I was a cart attendant, which was a fancy name for “Janitor.”
Now, it wasn’t to hard to clean the store, it was a huge warehouse of a building, with smooth concrete floors. So a broom and a mop was all I ever needed to make sure you could eat off the floor (but seriously don’t do that, its gross yo.) So one day I was just minding my own business, patrolling the parking lot, when suddenly my little walkie-talkie goes,
*PSSSH* Uh Greatest (my name, as far as you know), we uh, have a spill, we need you to come take a look at it.”
Now, this is a weird request. Normally they’d just say “Hey, Greatest, mop some shit up please, k, thanks” But no, they want to look at it first. So i take my line of thirty carts and push them into there row in front of the store and walk to where my manager is standing waving me over to the spill.
Quick sidebar again, last one I promise, for those of you who have never shopped/worked at a big box store, heres the skinny. They don’t sell normal sized anything. Everything comes in bulk. Its the kind of place you go when you really really need a single pack of 30,000 hot dogs. And this was true of everything, gallons of milk came in two packs, buckets of ketchup, and palettes of saltines. Nothing came in a small container. In particularly soap came in huge 5-7 gallon buckets. For when you needed enough to wash every piece of clothing who have ever owned…..EVER
So that aside, I walked up to my manager, who was looking very distraught. He point down the aisle, and thats when I saw it…. the horror…..
Some nice, little, old, prolly senile old lady, had a need for several gallons of lavender scented laundry detergent. Now, these buckets where heavy, heavy enough where the strapping young lad I was needed at least three fingers on his beefy muscled arm to pick it up over his head (details may be exaggerated). This woman was maybe three feet tall, and looked to weigh about the same as a piece of tissue. She had tried to pick up the bucket herself, rather than get an employee to come help, as we would have happily done. Instead, she tried to pick it up herself. She managed to get it at least a couple feet off the ground, when she dropped it.
AND THATS WHEN SHIT GOT REAL
The plastic bucket that held the soap could be described as thin at best, at worst I believe i said it was made with lies and regrets held together with the dreams of orphans (i was angry when that came up) So of course, when it hit the ground. It EXPLODED soap all over the aisle, purple, lavender scented, laundry detergent everywhere.
The lady was embarrassed, and we told her it was okay, and I helped walk her through the soap so she didn’t slip and sue us for breaking every hip she had. And as she continued shopping, and it came down to me cleaning it.
So I grab the only mop I have, and start trying to mop it up as best as I can. And all that happens is that I have now frothed up the entire aisle with light purple lavender scented bubbles, and coated the floor with a new frictionless sheen of soapy water.
So my co-workers notice this shitload of bubbles and my slipping and came running. And thats when we started up the newest attraction to the area, Disney on Ice: White Trash edition.
I like to say we didn’t get in trouble. But we did. I eventually got the soap cleaned up. but the lavender scent stills persists in that whole store, having been back recently 6 years still hasn’t gotten rid of the lavender.
So i left a lasting mark on that store. and a new found respect for laundry detergent, and how big of a pain in the ass it can be.
So yeah, this story went nowhere, but thats how life is you know.